Lady in Red: The Conclusion- Escape!

Eli Ellllliiiiiiii Eli, ahhhhhh, mimo mimo mimo, ah oluwa shaaanu oluwa shaaaaaanu. The ranting continued, and only the white of her eyes were visible. I got terrified as soon as I saw her face. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the huge doors shut. Damn! There goes my plan to make a dash for the door and flee. I saw, the assistant pastor approach our sitting section. Blue sash around his waist, large bible in hand. Everyone seemed to be looking at me, or maybe it was my hyperactive imagination. It's actually amazing how hyperactive your senses get when adrenaline kicks in. Your eyes manage to capture the scene in detail, you have an acute sense of smell, you even seemingly hear conversations that ordinarily would have escaped you. Anyways, I digress. The assistant pastor seemed to ignore us entirely and walked up to the 'seeing' lady, amidst lots of 'scuse me, scuse mes'. I was almost relieved but then Kike says to me.

Kike: Omo dis tin no funny o. Ki lon se awon pipu yi? (Girl, this thing is not funny. What's the matter with these people)

I remembered then how lilly livered Kike actually was. You know the old adage, empty barrels make the loudest noise? Well, it fit my friend here to a T. I decided then that if anyone was going to put an end to this madness, it would have to be me. Allowing Kike handle the situation would just further degenerate the issue. Just then, some of the ushers, these ones I noted were in a yellow belt. I wondered what that meant in their world. I pressed back into the seat to accommodate them. As soon as the woman got within touching distance of me, she lunged wildly in my direction, breaking into a funny song. In my ears, it sounded Islamic. I wondered what the hell she was saying, but I just dodged her and kept on with my stony demeanor. The moment she lunged, Kike jumped on the chair, taking it two at a time, away from me all the while yelling

'Yeeeee Jesu o! Kini mo wa wa si ibi bayi leni o?' (Oh Jesus, why the hell did I come here today). She was on the other side before she turned back to look at me. She looked crazy screaming
"ah, OJ! Ode! O si n wo cinema? Se won shekpe fun e ni? (ahhh OJ! You fool! Why are you still staring like you are at the movies? Did someone cast a spell on u?)

She seemed to consider coming back for me, but noticing the chaos that was beginning to form around me once more, she hesitated. Now, the attention of the whole congregation was on me. For the first time, I spoke, sounding as menacing as I could, as I caught some more yellow belts approach me. "Wo, nobody should just touch me o, nobody should just touch me" I must admit it felt surreal, like a bad movie, only it was very real. As real as the sound of a frantic Kike

"Ahh... ati daran le ni o" (ahh... we are in trouble today o) I looked at her, asking her to please shut up with my eyes, to which she replied "Kini? Shey u no see say dem don lock door ni"? (What? Can't you see the door's been locked?)

I guess the underlining meaning of her rant was lost on her. I however could read the excitement in the eyes of the other guests. Apparently, it had turned out to be a lively Sunday for them afterall. They were going to be witness to a live exorcism of the lady in red. Well, I was determined to put an end to this madness. I could see Lola amidst the pool of eyes, Her face looked concerned. Almost accusing. WTF?! But I would deal with that later. Right now, I needed to get the hell out. The air was deathly still as I backed away slowly from the huge circle slowly. Everyone seemed to shift from me, like I carried some kind of plague, allowing me passage to the exit. lol. When I reached the door, I heard commotion behind me to find Kike scrambling after me. Apparently she fell from the chair in efforts not to get trapped in the coven lol (Her words, not mine)At the door, the same male usher who had asked us to remove our shoes at first, almost resisted. The overzealous CM that he is, he was unprepared for my violent reaction as I shoved him roughly away from the door, amidst vile curses from Kike who stood behind me, toothless bulldog/agbero that she is. His expression was priceless (He was probably expecting a reaction from my 'mouthy' friend, and not me, the quite, seemingly harmless one). He shot questioning looks between me and the man in the blue sash who raised his hand indicating a 'let them go'. Either way, I was prepared to tear little Mr. Overzealous to shreds if I had to.

The situation was already bad, and I had decided there was only going to be peace at the end of this drama. Anyways, I made it out without beating anyone up, not before I turned around and looked directly at the 'H' factor usher, and shouted "Aje ni momsie e" (Your mother is a witch!). I had overheard her whisper to some other usher that she 'knew' we were witches the moment she saw us, she just thought it was the other one. Really!... somebody shout halleluuuuu meje! (7)lol

Later, analyzing the whole scene with my friends, they mentioned a fact about me which is very true. Ordinarily, I don't go looking for trouble. Infact I almost act like a 'mugu' sometimes to avoid confrontations. I however become very scary, almost someone else, when I make up my mind to fight a situation or person. Basically, I don't start *ish that I can't finish. And if you start *ish with me, then you darn well better be ready to finish it. Ms. Trance got the wrong chic. Maybe it would have been a theatrical Sunday after all if they didn't pick me, the lady in red.


THE END!!!