~ YOU ~

Every word in this verse is going to be about you. You know why? Sit back and let me pour out my love letter...

YOU inspire me to be better,
YOU challenge me for the better

YOU are like music to me, ministering to me with every utterance

YOU seduce me, make me want to take my clothes off without moving a muscle.

YOU like me, more than YOU love me.

YOUr love makes me want to start a movement, makes me feel like I can change the world.

YOU mean to me, everything. Like a plant needs the sun.

YOU make the sun shine. It illuminates every darkness in my heart, and I'm so thankful for YOU.

YOU make me smile, a wonderful, beautiful glow. I can't get enough YOU!

YOU put it down. Do I need to explain this?

YOU make me feel like I'm flying, and I don't need to rest, because YOUr love nourishes me.

YOU have the key to my heart, but if YOU ask me, I don't think YOU need it. It's wide open for YOU.

YOU are always on my mind. I feel YOU all around me even when YOU are nowhere around.

YOU are the air that I breathe, although whenever I'm with YOU, I feel like I can sustain myself on just listening to YOU speak.

Like the river to a waterfall, I need YOU around me.

Like a calming sea, YOU bring me peace and serenity

Like fuel to a spark, YOU ignite me

Like the gospel to the preacher, YOU are truth to me.

Like the shell on a turtle, YOU protect me.

Can I just let YOU know right now, babe...
I wouldn't trade YOU for the world!

~ CONCLUSION- 2 Wrongs...

So I know I may have misrepresented myself in my last post, but just for the record, not all the stories on this blog happen to me directly. This particular one is lifted from the life of a very close friend of mine. I feel her pain like it were mine, so I am able to capture her feelings and thoughts ALMOST adequately. For anyone wondering, I am not single, never been caught cheating, never will. This is not entirely your faults though, as I enjoy writing in first person. It allows me get into the characters and express myself through the characters I create in my head. Maybe at some point, I might do a post asking you to ask me any questions about me, and I'll do my best to answer as honestly as I can. Anyways, all dat one na looooooooon tin. Let's get to the koko of the matter (sorry, too much Dbanj -love his new CD BTW)

From last post...

What I really wanted to say was "Nucca, WTH's wrong with you? You tryna damage the house?" but instead, I said calmly, almost distractedly "A camera." How stewpid, nefertiti, you might say. Trust me, I practise moments like this over and over in my head, but sometimes, when unexpectedly confronted with situations, silly things come out like stating the obvious - "camera". well of course it was a camera. The contents of the camera was something else entirely. What's running through my mind is what are the odds that Doyin would find my camera, and pictures that I had taken with Mr. Cool when he came to visit? Another thought that quickly followed was 'WTH! It's not like they were racy or naked pictures of me locked in a fierce lip lock with Mr. cool. Get over it, buster!' During my mental debate, Doyin was raining a series of insults that I do not care to remember or itemize, but I was strategizing how the heck to get myself out of this mess.

Nef: Chill, dude. What is it?
Doyin: WTF... OMG! Don't come near me, please. I won't be held responsible for my actions if you do...

Just so you know, Doyin didn't actually 'catch' me cheating. All he did was see a picture on my camera that I took with Mr. Cool, fully clothe, and standing beside him in broad day light, so I was wondering why he was reacting so violently...

Doyin: I always knew you were a slut. Chima tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. I thought you were the woman I would marry, but ....

Lemme tell you, Chima and I don't really have a great relationship. He is Doyin's best friend, and this particular episode was taking place at Chima's crib. I don't know why he didn't like me, but I didn't like him really because he didn't like me...

Nef: I can explain, it's not what you think..
Doyin: Explain what?! It's obvious that you've been screwing around behind my back
Nef: Well Hold the F@ck up! Don't you dare insinuate that I'm loose. I lost my viginity to you, are you forgetting that?
Doyin: Well apparently, I cleared the way for you to open up for any dude that comes along right?...

This was getting painful. I really didn't want to fight. My birthday was next week, I had given 5 yrs of my life to doyin, and I didn't want to lose him like that. I tried a different approach...

Nef: I ran into Mr. Cool at the mall (not technically a lie, I did see him at the mall, only I knew he'd be there) I didn't know he was gonna be in town. I had my camera with me and I took a picture. There's really nothing to it, sweetie. I swear. I tried to approach him again, but he pushes me away, against the dresser, and storms out, yelling profanities on his way.
Doyin: I don't ever want to see you again. I need you to be gone before I get back, or else mo ma pe 5-0!(I'm gonna call the police)

I stayed rooted to the spot. In movies, the cheating partner tries to chase after the wronged party, but it wasn't like that for me. I stood staring at the door for a good 6minutes before my knees hit the floor. I was sobbing but the tears wouldn't come. All I kept thinking was 'OMG, I just got dumped!' over and over again. I didn't know what to do with myself. An hour later, I called my homegirl, who knew all about the Mr. Cool affair. Her advice to me was 'Nefie, gurl just don't get caught. If sh!t hit the fan, don't mention my name' When I told her, she kept saying OMG, and insisted that I deny, deny deny. 'Ah, o tun na. Deny I did o!' I said. When I hung up the phone the tears still wouln't come. I was numb. I drove back to my house like a zombie.

When I got home, my phone rang and it was my sister. Apparently, the bastard had called her yelling and basically calling me a slut. My sister is a no-nonsense person btw. She told him to get lost and that should he get a rein on his emotions, to feel free to call her back. He called another mutual friend in NY, relaying the same story and calling me a slut.

Again, what I don't get is why he reacted so violently. I mean, I literarily caught him cheating less than a year before this incident, and I didn't sparze out. Something tells me the bastard was just looking for an excuse to dump me, only I didn't know why at the time. Why now? I would soon find out. So anyways, we break up, end of story, he goes back to MD to continue his studies.

Fast forward to January 2nd....

My phone rings and it's my friend, well more like acquitance...

Acq: Hey Neffie, was up o, happy new year...yada yada yada..
Me: Same to u, girl yada yada...
acq: Do you know anyone getting married next weekend?
Me: no. Why (Gist antenna, turned all the way up)
acq: Are u for real, u don't know any one?
Me: no. Why. Are u using style to tell me that u're getting married and I have not been invited? (uneasy laugh)
acq: nah gurl, log into FB
Me: for what now, I'm really tryna stay away from FB this year...
acq: trust me, u want to see what I'm seeing.

Low and behold, I log into FB and there before my eyes are pictures from Doyin's wedding to the same chica who he cheated with earlier in our relationship. Pictures of their honeymoon to vegas, the chic looking a little prego, I might add. While I realise I don't want the nucca anymore, it still hurt a little. I look at the chic and she's not as pretty as me(Honestly, and I'm very critical of myself). I look at their wedding and it's not my idea of tastefully done, but I'm still mad as hell, and hurting like no man's business. Where it hit me was when some fool came up to me at a wedding recently and said 'ahn ahn iyawo, ti e lo kan bayi o (wifey, it's ur turn next), How is Doyin? Se you are hearing from him?'. With the picture of his ecstatic face while looking lovingly at his bride etched in my memory, I plastered a smile. 'He's fine, sir' I replied, through gritted teeth, and stormed off. The guy must have been wondering what he said wrong. I went to the car and the tears flowed, and flowed and flowed, and flowed, and..well you get the idea.


I'm preparing myself for the onslaught of criticism. Please just remember that it's not my story. I just find it easier to write this way. Feel free to refer to me, when leaving ur comments tho ;-)

**Also, sorry I haven't replied to ur comments. Work's been kicking my butt. I try and read your blogs tho. You all are still dear to my heart despite work. Thank you for everytime you visit, or send me an e-mail to check up on me.

2 WRONGS MAKE IT DAMN RIGHT!

"Snap out of it, Nefertiti", I told myself. "It's done. It's over, you need to move on". While a part of me knew I was giving myself motivational speeches, I still couldn't help but be mad as hell. I realized I didn't want this sucker anymore but it didn't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes which made me even madder. The bastard took her to Vegas?! Vegas?! Our, (no, scratch that!) MY Fucking VEGAS?! Why, I'll be damned! This idiot didn't even know that Vegas was in Nevada before he met me. So I upgrade his ghetto behind, and he has the nerve to take her to MY VEGAS?!!!!! If you see this guy, know anyone like him, Please give him a good kick in the balls on my behalf. Now on reading this story, you can feel free to make whatever assumptions you want, but I'm mad as hell and I really couldn't care less what you think of me.

I met Doyin in the fall of '02. Even though he wasn't my type, his gentle manner drew me in. He wasn't like exceptionally handsome, we started dating really out of convenience. He was available, I was too. Nothing better to do, so we hit it off. Initially, it was no biggie until we started to have sex. I gotta admit. He had a sista sprung. No shyt. I became 'dickmatized' (Or what was it BG and CG called it again?) for lack of a better word. Before I knew it. We were seriously an item. Daydreaming about buying a house together, having kids, the whole nine yards. Everyone knew us in ATL. Whenever I would go to a party alone, I'd have people walking up to me asking me 'Where's Doyin now?' I didn't know how annoying 3 words could be until now.

Everything was good until Fall of 04. He had this chick come over to visit him in ATL. I had seen them together in church, and he introduced the girl as Shola from MD. I didn't know about this till later of course, but apparently he had sex with this chick. When I found out she had spent the night at his place, and they'd had sex, months later of course, for some reason, I really didn't sparze out, okay maybe I did a little lol, but it was nothing major. We move past this, or so I thought but the devil in me had other plans. His punk ass was moving to MD for some master's program, and everything was cool until I started talking to Mr. Cool (I'll explain in detail who he is in another post). Now Mr. Cool was just that. Alright. He had a good head on his shoulders, nothing much to look at, but I liked him. He had this Sylvester Stallone on steroids kinda voice. The kind that made you feel like you were 13, and your hormones are constantly in OD when you hear his voice. Looks like you already know where this is going because soon, we were having phone sex. This in all honesty did nothing for me, but I enjoyed the power I felt during these calls, imagining I was with Doyin. Doyin would come home occasionally, and although the sex was good as ever, I still felt I needed some emotional availability which he lacked. For some reason, we didn't have much to say to each other except fuck each other's brains out. Anyways, Mr. Cool comes over from Cali for a visit. One thing leads to the other, and I end up having sex with him (Hey, I did tell you to pass your judgments, right) It sucked major balls. He was pathetic. You could literarily count the number of thrusts before he started convulsing in ecstasy. Bastard! I grind, roll, twist, slam, remove, all for this bastard to even last a freaking 2 minutes more but nope! he wasn't having it. All he wanted to do was bust a nut. Oloshi! On the good part though, I did get myself some perks, courtesy of him(Prada shades, Ferragamo shoes etc). I guess he realized he sucked, and was compensating.

Anyways, last April, I was planning a party for myself. I was turning quarter of a century, and he was visiting from Cali, spending a whole week with me, so I was mad excited. I was in the Bathroom applying my make up for an evening out, after a very HOT session of love making I might add, when Doyin yanked the door open and almost ripped it off the hinges NEFERTITI, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS…?!

I realise that this sounds rushed, but I'm mad as hell and need to vent. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I am weak from typing and will continue this in a few days.

DEFINING MOMENTS~ 'Messy Messy Girl'

Hi everyone, happy new year. I hope y'all are doing fabulous. Thank you to everyone who checked up on me during the holidays. I don't know anyone of you, but I'm grateful for having met you all on here. Life for me lately has been kinda ruff. Work, Work and more work. I can't believe I don't get the chance to visit my favorite blogs anymore, but God pass awon aye sha. I wanted to take a few lines to talk about some defining moments in my life. The moments that have shaped me into the woman I am today.

On Farting:
Story story(Do I hear a ... story) Once upon a time,...time time... there lived this girl called Nefertiti. See Nefertiti was painfully shy as a young'n. So one day, after eating vast amounts of kuli kuli and epa, a tornado began to brew in her stomach region. When she thought no one was looking, she let a silent bomb rip. Now we all know how evil primary school kids are. My seatmate, who also happened to be one of my Best friends then, (Let's call her U. Truly, her name starts with U, but for the life of me, I can't recall her name)was the loudest of the bunch. Whenever anyone farts, U is usually the High barrister yansh smeller. She singles someone out, and that person is the criminal as far as the whole school is concerned. Anyways, U noticed that this smell was 'conker' than the average, so she decides to investigate. At this point my heart is going 500 beats per minute and I am praying fervently that I won't be one of the few people whose bum will be smelled (Hey, she wasn't called the high chief for nothing.. eugh, I know)Inside, I'm dying. I feel almost physically sick. U begins to scream, saying she knows that it's one of three people of which I'm the least expected suspect. The two other kids swear it's not them, but as I usually don't say much, and so I have more 'supporters' than the other 2 kids do.

U then decides to smell every one's bum. When it's my turn, I refuse to get up from my seat. She continues taunting me, saying if I knew it wasn't me, then I should swear on the bible. Being the little punk that I am, I say it's against God's word. lol. I can even remember the exact words. "The bible says we should not call God's name in vain". I try to ignore U, but she grabs my pencil and starts throwing it around the class. I somehow forget that I am not getting up, and lunge for my pencil- Chaos! U begins to yell "HUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNMMMMMM"! at the top of her lungs and instantly composes the lyrics to a song. I remember that song of course, and no, I am not gonna sing it for you, AMEBO...lol Someone might know the song and put 2 and 2 together.

Anyway, U and her boyfriend connive to pin 'Messy Messy girl' to the back of my uniform. I didn't notice this till I got home. All I know was I didn't have any friends for the rest of the school year, no one talked to me on the school bus home, and I really hated U. I remember making paper dolls of her and sticking pins into it's butt, imagining with all my will power that I was causing U pain.

Because of this experience, I never fart in public. I will always excuse myself to go to the bathroom to fart, which some of my friends consider weird. I can never understand how some people feel free to just let it rip freely like that. This experience is just one of my defining moments in life. I will be posting some of my other defining moments at least once a month.

Once again, Happy New Year to you all. What are some of your defining moments?