Black, white and everything in between

At this point I think I have pretty much determined that there are several people living in my head, and that I'm not alone in this madness. The fact that I'm female doesn't make it any better. PMS is a biatch. I feel sorry for the Mr. sometimes. I got heated recently over something small, and he looked perplexed and simply said 'you are a very complex woman' lol. He didn't even get mad. I got a good man, y'all! Abeg, be happy for me nau, ahn ahn, y are u hissing? lol (remind me again when I feel like tearing his head off- lol) The following conversation takes place between 'razzertiti' and 'Nefertiti'. Let me introduce them to you. When I leave comments like 'You'll be in my thots and prayers', you are seeing Nefertiti. However when I throw in things like WTFrack, nucca.. You are seeing Razzertiti...R is responsible for posts like No bama no, and Journal of an angry black woman. N is responsible for posts like note to my sistahs. Please note that at any given time, they can take on each other's personalities. One moment, I'm being real prude, classy and sweet. The next i'm an eye-rolling, finger-snapping, neck-twisting, bubble-gum-popping, bad-ass chic. This particular conversation transpires after finding the following txt message on an Ex's phone.

'The sex was good while it lasted. Too bad all good things come to an end'

Razziti (R): hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaheeeehehehehehe

Nefertiti (N): OMG! What are you laffing at u idiot?
R: ahn ahn, is it not funny? *singing another one bites the dust.

N: There's got to be a good explanation. Maybe the chic is messing with him or me.(side note: He was in the shower when the phone rang, and he had asked me to pls get the phone, and let whoever know that he was in the shower. The chic was tryna start drama by asking me who I was. I told her my name, and she was like 'Welllllllll, when he gets out the shower, please tell him Tracey called. We were supposed to meet up later today. *Oh yeah, heifer?)

R: She messing with him alright. I don't think u need sweet virgin mary to come and give u a revelation.

N: No, I know it's a joke

R: Nah gurl, his punk ass is a joke! Where's our little black book? Next!!!!!

N: Don't be like that. U know we are trying to be good. We just re-dedicated our life to God.

R: You did, heifer! I was laffing at ur weak ass..lol

N: Let's just hear what he has to say first. Don't jump to conclusions

Boyfriend comes out the shower...

N: u got a text from Tracey. Who's tracey?

Boyfriend: *has a WTF look...

R: LMAO! mscheeeeewwwww. don't even lie, u ashewo bastard! I said who the fuck is Tracey?

N: Well she just sent you a text. *Handing the phone over to him.

R: Gurl, I can't believe u are gonna have this conversation. Please let me handle his dumb ass. Apparently, he's got a minor case of amnesia. May be I can woze his facaulty back in order.

N: No thank you, R. I got this.

R: Why are u so slow? I have been tryin to tell u to kick his no-good ass to the curb, but u be mugu shey? u see ur life now? *Singing 'stutter ssstutter' WAY off key.

Boyfriend: Oh. (Kinda in an off hand manner)She's some crazy girl I met a few nights ago

R: Did u hear that gurl? He met her a few nights ago, and they are already having 'great sex' according to tracey. here u go doing ms goody goody. agro go dey waiya ur head, u will be forming for T. Let's go call T jor, fashi this looser...

N: What?`*tears starting to gather* What do you mean she's crazy? Why are you doing this now?

R: Why else? Ode! u better not be displaying ur mumuness here o! Let's go before u disgrace urself now

N: R, we are not going anywhere. We have to talk this out like mature adults.

R: Go on' head gurl, do ur grown woman steez. I'm dialing T's # soon as u can get us the hell outta here.

Boyfriend is still explaining away..N's tears are flowing in torrents now, and she excuses herself to go to the bathroom where she wails and wails. She eventually emerges, and there's been a switch somewhere. She's smiling now.

Boyfriend: Now very confused. Babe, how can I make it up to you? Please disregard what that crazy woman was saying. I think she may have text that to the wrong number

R: I think u need to put your bullshit under arrest cos that shit ain't adding up! Who u think u fooling mutha fucker? U think I'm 2? *Grabs a knife* you still ain't told me who the fuck Tracey is! Tell me the truth now before I re-circumsize ur monkey ass.

BoyF: whoah whoah, u don't wanna do that, babe...

R: If u call me baby one more time, I'm gonna tear a new hole in ur ass with this knife. u lying ass mutha. You know what, u ain't worth my time. I'm outta here

BoyF: Darling, please don't drive off when u're mad *Frantically pulling on his clothes...

R: Muttering expletives under her breath, while grabbing her things

N: Hmmm badooooo!

R: Shut up jooo, mumu girl. Why were u crying like an ode before? Mscheeeeeewwwwww.

We are outside now. I jump in my car and reverse in 50mph. Boyf tries to stand in my way

R: Boi, don't think I can't run u over o! No try me this afternoon!

Boyf: c'mon, babe. u are blowing this outta proportion..

R: Yeah?! Muthafuckr, watch this proportion right here!

I zoom off and nick his arm with the rear view mirror...

R: gb'ori e joooor! Oloshi ashewo bastard. Mscheeewwww

N: Ahhhh... no jam am o! I no wan go prison o!

R: Prison sha? a ma bury body were ara e ni, mahn! (We are going to dispose of the mad man's corpse)

N: Hmmmm Badoooooooo! I trust u to always use ur crase to get us out of tight situations/

I pick up my little black book and flip straight to T. Time for some sweaty monkey, no questions asked, straight fucking...


oops, it's good Friday :( Memories!

Temite, this is not as good as the original. I don't even remember what that one was about. when I get that journal, I'll post it.