No bama, no...

This is dedicated to u, and u and u.....

ladies....
- Please buy your size when you go to the store. Let's start with the underwear... why do u buy your bra a size smaller? Is it cos you think your tatas might somehow reduce in size? Then you wear your shirts and your breast splits into 4 disgusting lumps... No, bama, no

- When you buy shirts or dresses, please don't go shopping at baby depot when you know ur ass looks like moniqe... that's just wrong... No bama, no

- Invest in some human hair. I'm sick of seeing ladies in extensions so fake, it looks like they just skinned a he-goat. You think you are fly?... No bama, no

- Invest in a spa to get a decent wax for ur eyebrows. (now this falls into 2 categories )DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT scrape ur brows with the beauty supply instruments, or think you look fly when you then draw a line with pink, red or even black eyepencil *rolls eyes* No bama, no

- Do not go adding blonde/red extensions to your black roots... there's a reason why they are called extensions. You know u r wrong for having a blonde bun on your jet black hair.... No bama, no

- Keep urself well groomed down there. This does not include looking like a skinned chicken either. There's a reason why that guy ain't going down on you when your veejay looks like puke... Ermm no, bama... hell nah

- Please do not go sporting a 2piece at the water park, thinking u're gonna dive into the pool. what are you tryna do? Empty the pool? No bama, No

- A simple strip of listerine goes a long way. Do not roll up on a sister with your garlic breath... u wan blind person? No bama, no

- Invest in some deodorant... notice i said deodorant not perfume... for the sake of other bystanders... this, in my opinion should be a law. There must be a task force to ensure this. Having a wet patch in ur underarm area on your black shirt is hideous. No bama, no.

- No weird looking contact lense... makes you look like a fucked up catwoman... No bama, no

- No black lip liners...christ I swear i'm gonna sparse out if I see this one more time this year.... NO BAMA.....Hell nah

- Use foundation your color, not one shade lighter. There are experts that are ever willing to help you figure this out... No bama, no

- Limit the number of trends you wear to an event. I know you have it. save it for the next event so that i can have something to stare at when you next have your personal freak show... Heck yeah here. I love this kind of entertainment.

Guys...
- Why do pay you hard earned dollars to come to the club and post up on the wall like a fucking predator? come on show me ur swagger... *Loooooser.... No, bama no

- Beer breath when you are tryna spit game is a no no. Keep a pack of mints handy (not the strong kind that can melt my eyeballs out my forehead) Bamaaa!

- Don't be tryna bust a nut when we are dancing in the club. You get desperate and keep a tight grip on my hips, tryna position my ass. I just wanna dance, without u imposing on my personal space... No bama, no

- I know you are feeling the song, but getting low with your buddy is a no no... hell nah, bama

- When you have a hard on, I know. There's no need to ram it against my ass especially when ur punk ass ain't packing *wink

- I know you think you have the baddest pipe laying skills out there... this shit is hilarious too. nah buddy, your boy can lay it better than u (best believe it) I'm staying in this relationship because I care about ur punk ass. Why do you now lie to ur boys about breaking my back with your "anaconda"? Nah bama, no...

- Why do u catch an attitude when you try to talk to me and I don't respond? Maybe I just ain't feeling you that much. Get the hint, Take a hike. Do not start sparsing out and acting like a lunatic... No bama, no

- It's not okay to look like you just came out of the gym in the club, and tryna rub on sistah too? Hell to the nah, bama

- It's not OK for you to stink. mouth, armpit... nope bama, no

- Your dark shades at night make you look scary... and you thought you were a super star... No Bama, no

- You look retarded in your white suit on a club night. Ur punk ass ain't getting married... no bama...


ahhhhhhhh.... there's some release therapy, now off to bed